


The Best of Reasons

by mobilisinmobili



Series: MCU: One Shots [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Bad Ideas, Chaos, Closets, Dilemmas, Field Trip, Future Fic, High School, I'm Bad At Tagging, Irondad, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Teenagers, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is gonna go grey soon, like this, no informed him, of potential problems, parenting is hard, parenting milestones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 05:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19805815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mobilisinmobili/pseuds/mobilisinmobili
Summary: Barton and Lang had warned him that parenting teenagers would be otherworldly. But after beating aliens in the middle of New York, nothing felt too 'out there'. At least, not until he found himself having a serious talk with a wall at 9:45 AM on one of the coldest busiest day in November...OR..How parenting really changed Tony Stark's image.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A fun little one-shot I wrote instead of updating my other stories because I'm problematic af :)

“I’m going to count to five and if this door doesn’t open before then I’m gonna blast it open.” 

There was no response from the other side of the apparent maintenance door that was  _ just  _ barely visible in the wall. 

“One.”

Some sort of streamline nano tech that Stark insisted on trying for the R&D department’s wing. Something about having run into door knobs before and trauma and all that. So the door itself sunk  _ into  _ and  _ out of  _ the wall, just barely leaving fractional millimeters of space around it to distinguish were the door actually was. 

“Two.” 

It gave the area a more clean and futuristic look, not to mention the fact that it was more sanitary since a quick swipe of a key card was all that was needed to access it. No gross germs and questionable chemical substances touching any part of the door itself, which might have also been a driving factor after the *Fever Red Friday incident earlier that month. 

The only problem was that they noticed the maintenance staff disappearing for hours on end, hiding in the closet because no one else was able to open the doors. Which was the start of the ‘probably fired’ protocol. He’d discussed it at great lengths with Pepper, and by great lengths what he really did was count how long Pepper disappeared when she went to take a lap around the office to check up on things and get some coffee mid-day during her not actual break.

Fifteen minutes at most. Which was actually very surprising, given the fact that her heels were always so high… it was actually very awe inspiring. He’d definitely have to workout some more. Maybe try some more cardio. 

But all in all, fifteen minutes was what he set the time limit to apart from their breaks. Fifteen minutes to get in and get what was needed before the door would lock and someone from HR would have to unlock it for them. That would streamline the process by joining the query and reprimanding stage together into one big ‘explain-yourself’ scenario. And it worked. By the end of week one, everyone was running at optimal work level and no one from HR had to come all the way to the other side of the wing and fill out paperwork. 

But of course, as many great plans do, this one happened to backfire in the most surprising way. Which brought everything back to the very moment he was in, standing before one of the maintenance closets because someone had jammed the system override for HR. Something that FRIDAY flagged down mid investor’s meeting, thankfully giving Tony and out, much to Pepper’s chagrin. 

“Three.” 

Tony tapped his bio-suit’s blasters on, backing up a step or two. 

“Four” he warned, taking aim. 

“Fi-”

“WAIT!” and in that moment Tony really  _ really  _ wished he’d brought his coffee with him as his brain registered the voice. 

The one that sounded  _ terrified _ but also somehow guiltily sheepish at the same time. He could just imagine the wide eyed look of ‘ _ I can explain! _ ’from behind the door. Hell, he could practically hear the gears whirring on the other side. 

“I swear to god. You better not be who I think you are because if you are you’re  _ so  _ grounded. Like for the next month.” 

“I’m  _ sorry!  _ I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen I just-it was- I panicked, okay?! And then the door shut and then it bolted when I tried to get out.” 

“You were in there for longer than fifteen minutes”

There was a pause and then a breathed “woah.” 

Tony tapped his blasters back, holding back the eye roll. 

“How’d you know that? You were in a meeting. I saw you leave with Pepper.” 

“ _ Because,  _ Peter. I programmed this damn door.”

“Oh...Oh, that makes sense.” the little surprised/excited smile was almost tangible. He couldn’t help the chuckle that broke out before he smothered it back to get to the most important matter.

“Here’s a better question.” he took his phone out, pulling up his contacts page. 

“Why the hell aren’t you at school, Parker?” 

“Um…”

“You know what, no. Let’s start with this. Why the hell are you overriding my overrides?” 

“Oh! Uh- I had this little pet project I was working on and I honestly didn’t think it would work, and I swear that I wasn’t actually gonna use it for anything I just wanted to know if I could do it.” 

“That tells me nothing.” 

“I-uh- I programmed this little gadget card thing that overrides certain lower level overrides you put in. To be honest, I was just messing around to see if I could override your protocols in my suit with Karen but it worked for the door too…” he tapered off. 

“Okay…” Tony shrugged, pinning the new piece of information away for later. He’d definitely have to tell Bruce. The man was gonna be so excited. 

But now was not the time for feelings of pride. 

Now was parent time of the not fun variety because he knew whatever Peter had planned it would really be 50/50 and he really might have to ground the kid for a month. Something he didn’t want to do. ‘Cool dad’ be damned, he was Tony Stark and he was going to do what he needed to do. He could always cry about it to Rhodey or Pepper later anyway…

“So back to question one. Why aren’t you at school on this particular Monday morning?”

“I can explain!” 

“Please do.” 

“Well, uh.. Do you remember like a month ago when you told me that my school booked a senior field trip to STARK Industry’s R&D department for the college programs thing?” 

“Yes…” 

“And how Pepper told me to put it on my calendar to make sure I didn’t forget since there was all that paperwork that needed to be filled out before the trip?” 

Tony sighed. “Yes…” he wasn’t liking where this winding explanation was going. 

“And then there was that whole intern seminar and workshop week like two weeks ago that I went to as an official intern, which was  _ so  _ cool, by the way. The other interns are like crazy smart I felt so-” 

“Peter! Monday. School.” 

“Oh yeah. Sorry! Well anyway, after the intern workshop I realized that I lost my bag, and I looked for it  _ everywhere _ but I couldn’t find it and the paperwork was in there and I kinda freaked out because I needed to turn it in and I knew that Pepper would be so disappointed if I did everything last minute so I kept pushing it off and then I asked my teacher last Friday and she said that the deadline was last thursday and that I’d have to just have an eight hour study hall which did  _ not  _ sound fun at all. So I may have possibly skipped school and came over... “

“Peter!” 

“I’m sorry!” he wailed. But an eight hour  _ study hall _ ?!” 

“Okay fine, the skipping I get. What I don’t get is why you’re in a maintenance closet.” 

It took Tony exactly five seconds to piece everything together as he saw a decent sized group walk out of the nearest elevator, only to freeze when the intern showing them around froze.

“Oh my god. It’s Tony Stark!” it was a hushed whisper that set off a flurry of hushed whispers as  _ everyone  _ all fifteen students plus intern stared at the man himself who, just seconds ago was most  _ definitely _ talking to a wall. 

“I see…” he said just loud enough for Peter to hear. 

“Martha!” the intern’s eyes widened as she realized that  _ Tony Stark  _ knew her by  _ name _ .

“Y-yes sir! Hello sir. It’s an honor to meet you.” 

“Nonsense! It’s an honor to meet you. I know my interns are the best. Not gonna lie, this job-” he gestured at the group “is  _ by far  _ the hardest. So thank you for doing such a good job.” he patted her gently on the back. 

“And I know you guys have a set route, but I’m gonna reroute you real quick.” he glanced up at the ceiling. 

“FRIDAY?”

“Yes, sir?” 

Everyone jumped at the sudden intrusion of the AI.

“Alert Dr. Banner downstairs in the biochem lab that a group is gonna swing by.” 

“Yes, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?” 

“No. That’s it.” he waved the question away. 

“I know you guys are meant to visit the programming lab first-” 

The one with glass walls that was  _ right  _ in front of the very maintenance door he’d been talking to.

“But I think it would be fun to shake things up. Dr. Banner is actually working on something right now with the STARK Industries humanitarian outreach program for the biochemistry division, so it’ll be academic as well.” 

Martha nodded, pulling herself together before leading the group back to the elevator. 

“Don’t forget, two floors down. Your badges should work at the gate. If not, FRIDAY will alert me. No reason to come all the way back.” he waved them off, waiting until the elevator doors shut before turning back to the door/wall.

“So you skipped school and thought it would be a good idea to come to the very place your field trip is?”

“Actually…” 

“Let me guess. You forgot it was today.” 

“No. Well… Yes. But I had other reasons too!” 

“Like?” 

“I woke up super early this morning because I remembered where I think I put my bag!” 

“Are you serious…?” 

“Yeah…?” 

“Wait a minute… Your bag. Is it the disgusting black and neon green from Oscorp you got at that job fair last week?” Peter could hear the revolution in the man’s voice, like it almost  _ hurt  _ him to speak the name.

“Yeah! Wait, did you find it?! Where was it?!”

“Okay first and foremost. I’m gonna say this once and for all.” the sass was practically dripping. 

“I don’t think you really fully understand your position, Parker. You’re an intern for godsakes… Haven’t you read the reviews? Glassdoor review?” 

“No…? Should I have?” 

Tony took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, ignoring the question completely. 

“If you researched, you’d find that if you managed to secure an internship with STARK Industries, 80% percent of the time you’d be hired after the internship. That’s why it’s so hard to get in. You’re almost guaranteed a job.”

“Really?! Woah! That’s actually really cool.” 

“So I’m not entirely sure as to  _ why  _ you felt the need to take information from  _ them _ of all companies. I’m almost offended. Actually, scratch that. I’m deeply and very personally offended. You, my best intern and basically my kid, thought that I would kick you out once you graduated…?” 

“I mean- I dunno… Those interns from that workshop were  _ really  _ smart…” 

“My god, kid. You’re really smart as well. You know this. You work with me and Bruce  _ personally _ . You wouldn’t have survived at the workshop if you weren’t. And besides, they’re in  _ college _ you’re a senior in high school. The fact that you can keep up says a lot.” 

There was silence on the other side. 

“But anyway, back to the disgusting bag. The one you left in my office. Remember? Because you said you’d definite forget.” 

He heard the small gasp from the otherside. 

“Yeah, kiddo. The one I  _ didn’t  _ incinerate even though I really wanted to.” 

“It’s been there the whole time?!” 

“Yes. And this could have all been avoided if you just  _ asked _ ??? Why didn’t you ask?” 

“I didn’t want to bother you. And it was something stupid. That’s like the fourth bag I lost this year...”

“Kid. getting you a new bag isn’t even a problem. I could buy you like five hundred bags if need be. We talked about this. You can come to me for anything whenever, as long as it’s in reason, and the Oscorp trash is  _ definitely  _ in reason.” 

“Mr. Stark?” 

“Tony.” 

“Tony?” 

“Yes?” 

“Thank you.” 

“No problem kid.”

“Oh, one last thing…” 

“What is it?” 

“On a scale of 1 to 10, ten being that time I accidentally let a coyote into the house, how mad would you be if I-uh- were to… I dunno.. Uh-accidentally setoffthefirealarm?” 

“Excuse me?” 

And then everything went to hell as the emergency flood lights came on, joined by the ear splitting shriek of the fire alarm followed by the sprinkler systems raining down ice cold water. 

“Peter! You are  _ so  _ grounded it’s not even funny. I swear to god, I’m making you an ankle cuff!” he shouted, standing angrily as the spray continued to drench him and his expensive suit and Italian leather shoes. 

“I’m sorry again! But I’m gonna climb out through the vent. Pleasedon’tbemad!” 

He wasted no time in bringing his blasters back before clearing the door straight through the wall just in time to see a familiar left footed converse disappear into the vent system. And then he noticed the puddle of clearish liquid on the floor and around the wall where the door had been, thankfully not so easily flammable.

“PETER BENJAMIN PARKER! You better get your ass out of the vent  _ right now _ and evacuate the right way or I swear I’m gonna substitute at your school. You hear me?! You don’t want to have to graduate through my class!” 

“Mr.  _ Stark-kshhhhhh- _ I’m- _ ksshhh _ -losing connection- _ kshhhh _ -I gotta-kshh- go.”

“You’re GROUNDED! Make that three months!”


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short snippet of irondad madness for GloriousPotato! Here ya go~

“Woah… Do you think it’s another fight or something?” 

“Maybe, but they’re all just standing there. Maybe someone brought a puppy to school again or something.” 

“Ooh. Even better!” 

“We gotta hurry though. We’re gonna be late. And you  _ know  _ Mr. Watkins gets trigger happy with detention slips.” 

Ned winced. 

“True, true. Hey, but isn’t that his classroom?” 

“Wait… it is..”

“Oh my god! Do you think he finally keeled over?!” 

“Ned!”

“I’m not asking in an excited way. Just in a; oh-my-god type of way.” he hit back, readjusting his backpack.

“Come on!” he stumbled as Peter jerked him forward, sprinting to build up speed as they grew nearer and nearer to the huge crowd that  _ wasn’t  _ moving. 

“Incoming!” Ned shouted, making a small gap in the crowd as those closest to Peter jumped back, clearing the way into the room. 

And just as Ned crossed through the threshold, panting slightly at the sudden sprint he’d just been dragged through, the shrill shriek of the bell rang out and the crowd began to disperse, shooting last minute looks to the teacher’s desk before making their way to their individual classes. 

“Mr. Watkins! We’re not la-...” Peter righted himself from where he was crouched, gathering the book that had fallen out of his bag in their sudden haste to get in on time. 

“Holy _ shit _ …” he brought a hand to his mouth as he realized what he had just said and to who it was said to. 

“Oh my god…” Ned froze behind Peter, mouth agape as he stared in wide eyed shock at just  _ who  _ it was that was leaning against the teacher’s desk. 

“Is that-” 

“It is.” Peter answered in a hushed whisper

“I am.” the person nodded, smirk growing as he pushed off the table and walked over to the two who took subconscious steps back. 

“Parker. My favorite intern. What a fun little coincidence.” 

“You’re joking…” 

“I for  _ sure  _ told you about this. This-” he gestured around the room 

“-is on you.” 

“You said it mid fire alarm!” 

“You were the one who decided to exit via  _ vent  _ system.” 

“I didn’t think you were serious!” 

“About wanting you to exit like a normal human being?!” 

“Yeah! Wait. Don’t answer that…” 

Tony quirked a brow. 

“I warned you and what did you do?” 

“I-” the rest was mumbled too softly for anyone to hear. 

“What? Excuse me, a little louder please.” 

“I left through the vent system.” Peter mumbled louder, staring with surprising intensity at his shoes, that happened to be untied..

“And?” Tony crossed his arms, surveying him with a look of exasperated amusement. 

“And I got stuck…”

“And?” 

“And I ripped out a fan because it was in the way.” 

“I’m gonna let you try that again.” 

“And I ripped out a ten thousand dollar biohazard safety filter that looked like a fan.” 

“Yup. And  _ the _ what happened, Peter?”

“I got out.”

“Did you now? You got out to the area you were supposed to be in in the case of a fire?” 

“No…” 

“Where did  _ you  _ get out, Peter?” 

“The roof…” 

“Uhuh. And what floor were you on when you entered the vent?” 

“Fifth…”

“And how many floors are there?” 

“Ten…” 

“And how did you get off the roof?”

“You had to suit up and fly up to the roof to get me down.” 

“Exactly. And who saw all of this happen?” 

“Everyone in the investor’s meeting..”

“And?” 

“The press that were there for the investor’s meeting.” 

“Which is why I’m here today.” Tony turned back to the class who looked awestruck at the news. It was going to be  _ everywhere  _ by lunch time…

“My name is Tony Stark, I’m his guardian  and also boss, and also teacher now. How about that?” he turned back to Peter who could have sworn his eye had just twitched.

“This is cruel and unusual punishment.” 

“Is it though? Is it really, Peter?” 

Peter faltered a beat at the deadpanned look that was leveled on him. 

“You’re Tony Stark. And  _ Iron Man _ . You’ve  _ got  _ to have better things to do than teach a high school engineering class.” 

“Oh, I know. This is part time.” 

Tony shrugged. 

“And by part time I mean I only teach one class.”

“Teaching one subject doesn’t make you part time.” 

“I never said ‘subject’, Parker. I said class. As in, I’m only here for  _ this  _ class.  _ Your  _ class to be precise.” 

Everyone’s jaw hit the floor at that. 

“So no. It’s not punishment. I’m just making good on my promise. What  _ is  _ punishment is that your tests and quizzes and projects for this class will  _ directly  _ correlate with your lab time back home. And if your grade keeps being what it is, I’m gonna put you on internship orientation and field trip duty for the next month.” 

he turned back to the class. 

“I saw the class average and I’m not impressed. I’m gonna say this only once so listen up.” 

He walked to the board and grabbed a marker, uncapping it before continuing. 

“This class specifically is averaging a sixty-eight percent, and that’s  _ not  _ okay.” he wrote the number sixty-eight on the board, tapping it with the opposite end of the marker. 

“If this number reaches at  _ least  _ a high eighty as a whole, I’ll give everyone who averages a B+ and higher a mid-term exemption.” 

The sudden excited whispers fanned out through the room. 

“M-mr. Stark, sir…?” Ned raised his hand slowly, trying his best to keep his voice neutral.

“I know that you’re the teacher and -uh- it’s your class but are-are you even  _ allowed  _ to do that…?” 

Tony shrugged, answering right away. 

“Kid, I’m Tony Stark. I could exempt you all from finals as well. This class is a uh.. Something like a test class. Doesn’t fully follow the other classes. See where I’m going.”

Ned nodded solemnly, looking at Tony in reverent awe. 

“But this-” he knocked on the board. 

“This doesn’t count if you guys can’t break an 86 by the first Monday of next month. Got it?”

There was a chorus of yes sirs as the excitement grew. 

“So without further ado, everyone take a seat- and by everyone I mean you, Mr. Leeds. Parker, you stay up here. You’re gonna be the teacher’s aid for the day.” 

Peter shot him a disgruntled look that just  _ screamed  _ teenage sass to which Tony didn't even bat an eye.

____

“You’re  _ awful.”  _ Peter hissed as Tony unloaded a heavy stack of papers into his waiting hands. 

“Maybe next time you’ll have better reasoning skills. Now get to it. These tests aren’t gonna grade themselves.”

Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Oh, and Peter?” 

“Yes…?” he stopped short, turning on his heels. 

“You should really check your answers before turning things in.” he waved the red tinged packet at the teen who blanched. 

“Wait.”

“Nope, too late.” 

“Wait, no!”

“Ooop. There goes the red pen.” Tony winced, crossing an entire page out. 

“Oh my GOD!”

“Seriously. How the hell do you skip an entire page front and back?” 

There was a scuffled and then papers were flying everywhere. 

“Peter…?”

“Nope.” 

“What the hell kid…?” 

“Just leave me here to die.” Peter grumbled from his prone position on the floor. 

“You just tripped over your shoelaces didn’t you..” 

“Maybe…”

“You left it untied the  _ whole  _ time? Seriously?” 

“I got distracted!” he wailed, not moving from his spot on the floor of the lab. 

“I see…” 

“At god, W H Y?!” he continued in dramatics that had Tony holding back a genuine laugh. 

“Hey! Don’t bring Point-break into this. He’s busy. He’s got important things to do.” 

“Wow…” Peter drawled out in bemusement.

“And besides, you’re busy too.” 

“There’s an answer key.”

“Yeah, but the packets weren’t stapled and going by the amount of paperclips on the floor, your little trip and toss separated at  _ least  _ eight, six page, packets. That’s forty eight loose pages you gotta resecure.” 

“Mr. Stark?” Tony didn’t even spare a glace at the sudden serious tone. 

“Yeah, underoos?” 

“I swear I’ll never  _ ever ever  _ climb into another vent again-” 

“I’m gonna stop you there because it’s too late for that. But also,  _ really _ …?” he showed Peter the last page where he’d drawn a cartoonish Tony with his signature goatee and glasses with an arrow pointing to him with a frowny face with angry eyebrows.

“I’m gonna give that a minute 2.” 

“You’re so  _ mean _ !” 

“Life’s mean, kid. But your ‘bother figure’s’ gotta go to a meeting so whenever you’re ready to pick yourself off of the floor and pull yourself together, Cap said they’re ordering pizza for dinner. You should go eat.”

“Aww. Thanks for the-”

“You’ll need it to grade all those by tomorrow.”

“Trust is lost. Just leave me here to die.” 

Tony shrugged. 

“Whatever floats your boat-” Tony strode over to the door, grabbing his suit jacket from the nearest table. 

“But if you don’t move in the next fifteen minutes I’m gonna have Friday schedule another therapy session.” he waved, stepping through the door.

“Wait. WAIT!” Peter made a rush for the door, slamming into glass with a small thud.

“Mr. Stark! No! Not the THERAPIST! She makes me talk through finger puppets and makes me regret all my decisions!” he continued to shout, banging on the door before having the semblance of mind to unlock the door and rush after the man, leaving the lab in darkness.

“I’m Gen Z! I’m fine! *I’ll stop renaming your suit protocols! MR. STARK!!!!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *That tumblr(?) Insta(?) post that goes like:
> 
> Peter changes Tony's suit protocol to funny ones like  
> "Old Man Bifocals Protocol"   
> "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up Protocol"  
> "Fr E Sh A Voca Do Protocol"
> 
> Etc etc~

**Author's Note:**

> Possible new one-shot


End file.
